Kay's Pay: "Too Much" Say Boltonian Bags

Nothing beats an enflamed internet forum. Whether it’s silver surfers commiserating over the construction of a bypass in Felixstowe, a teenager’s highly anxious and ‘urgent’ sexual health enquiries about a spot, or housewives giving each other Bonsai tips in Devon. There’s something fixating about these real people, the arbitrariness of their concerns, and their really odd turns of phrase, not to mention abundance of emoticons (e.g. :-) :-( :-/ :-P ... apparently an apt substitute for words)

I came across one tonight from over in Bolton that depicted townsfolk who were somewhat rumbled, disputing over how their taxes were being wasted on paying Vernon Kay to turn the Christmas lights on. I have to say, I was pretty amused reading their angered comments, such as “Could you enlighten me as to what this bloke’s profession is supposed to be?”
Erm… he’s a flawless and committed television presenter who has tackled a variety of popular shows for more than ten years? Married to Tess Daly (who recently announced she is pregnant with their second child), Vernon Kay is friendly, wealthy, successful and hands-down the embodiment of Bolton’s biggest export.

Vernon Kay and June Sarpong parented my adolescence as far as Channel 4 is concerned, which effectually means the entirety of freebie television for a teenager of the noughties. June disappeared at some stage, probably left in a deep decade-long sleep – snoring on a disused TV set in St. James’ Park, but the virile, valiant, venerable, vigorous, vocally vernacular and visually-pleasing Vernon remained. It’s difficult to dislike his seemingly bottomless pit of charisma and cheek. He also manages to wear glittery purple suits without looking like a paedophile.

Regardless of what his earnings are, I'm sure the government make no delay in axing half of it off for their own Christmas lights... also known as tank fire.

To read the rest of the bothered Boltonians’ remarks, where unemployable illiterate net-users wittily refer to him as the rib-splittingly funny ‘Vermin Kray’ visit: http://forum.theboltonnews.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=1907&sid=d3d628d5f99c7572e799ed9cf1d0249f
Do you know of any equally as mundane, yet ravishingly addictive, forum feasts? Pray do tell.

Words: Jack Cullen

2 comments:

  1. Not a rant about overpaid celebs (even ones with deathly boring shows on Radio 1) but this is a collection of posts from bigotted Christian postings in US forums. The 5th one about Bobby is particularly shocking.

    http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

    :-)

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  2. I love vernon kay too, but tv presenters are defs paid too much, like johnathon ross, it's ridiculous!!

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