Burger Princess

To you and me (and everyone born post 87) the name Fergie means the popstar. As in, the fox-faced ex-Black Eyed Peas singer whose album The Duchess boasted such infectious hits as ‘London Bridge’, ‘Glamorous’ and the Cure-copy-cat number ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’. It is this Fergie who springs up everywhere when you Google ‘Fergie’. It is the same Fergie who chirps away merrily about Dolce & Gabbana all over the Sex and the City movie soundtrack.

However, to our parents, the slightly rodent-like word ‘Fergie’ means Sarah Ferguson, as in someone who married Prince Andrew (in 1986 when our Fergie was 11 years old... I don't mean to patronise but one of my younger readers asked me who 'the other Fergie' is). In contrast to the popstar, Sarah Ferguson is an actual Duchess, but not that glamorous, and as Rebecca Camber revealed in the Daily Mail today – Sarah Ferguson is a big girl who does cry.

She told the Mail how Diana effectively destroyed her confidence, and so consequently where Diana had Versace dresses for comfort, Fergie turned to food as her accomplice. Never mind the clothes though, for me it’s Fergie’s philosophy that doesn’t fit. Do beautiful friends make us comfort eat? I don’t know about you, but whenever I go out partying with my better-looking sets of friends I find myself ordering salads and drinking water at the end of the night, whereas when I socialise with a group of lads I find beers thrust in my hands and the taxi home always takes a lurid kebab pit-stop.

Eating obsessions aside though, it’s a bit mean to blame the late Princess Di for all this. Diet plays an important part in the way we look, but there’s only so far we can go with this. We all have friends who are slimmer than us, but Diana wasn't just gym-fit, she was genuinely stunning and flirted with fashion more dedicatedly than anyone to ever set foot in Buckingham Palace.

But if Diana’s presence did lead Fergie’s fingers to the fridge door, and we ignore the fact that Fergie is an official world ambassador for Ronald McDonald, does this in turn mean that Chelsy Davy is responsible for Princess Beatrice’s blue-veined curves?

It must be hard to resist all the ubiquitous cakes and lavish meals that come with the job of being royalty, but the sad truth is, those that do resist the calories seem to be chain smokers or propped up on coke. The only real shapely role models are Prince William with his towering physique, and the Queen herself (although admittedly she had the advantage of kick-starting her physical identity with a few years of rations).

Fergie laments over her tabloid nicknames like ‘Frumpy Fergie’ and ‘The Duchess of Pork’. Perhaps we should stop history repeating itself before Beatrice becomes ‘Meatrice’.

(read Rebecca Camber’s piece from the Daily Mail at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1158265/I-ate-I-match-Diana-admits-Sarah-Ferguson-diet-day-control-weight.html)

Words: Jack Cullen

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