Eurovision 2009: Jack's Top 5

This year was the first Eurovision that I followed attentively, and I think I may have found a new annual obsession. From the controversy of the heats and the scandals of the semi-finals, the glittery global politics... not only about wars but about which countries have the best TV presenters. It's such an exciting, twisted, malformed and yet beautiful contest. There are so many intricate rules too: the length of the songs, the amount of dancers allowed on stage, the usage of props, the organisation of the line-up, scoreboard and voting system... it's so anal, and so entertaining! Also, it was so funny when Dima messed up his Fuerza Bruta intro routine and got his jacket caught in the cables.

ANYWAY. Here's the Jack of Hearts' Top 5 acts from Eurovision 2009. I know Alexander Rybak is sugar and spice and all things nice... but he doesn't feature on my list, in fact, I feel he was marked far too generously.

1) Estonia - "Rändajad"
I was astounded by Sandra Nurmsalu. Her voice was magnificent as the eery song slowly crept up on the audience. Visually she looks like she just rocked up from Rivendell, really piercing and brilliant eyes. The hair's so Toni & Guy. She won the contest in my opinion. I wonder if she's just pretending to play the violin though in an effort to win Alexander Rybak's little heart.
2) Turkey - "Dum Tek Tek"
Three songs this year attempted to be Shakira, but this was the catchiest of them all. Dum Tek Tek sounds a bit like chickens squawking around a farmyard, but Hadise is a fiery Turkish pop star. She reminded me of Cora Corman, the fictional bimbo pop heroine in the movie Music & Lyrics (starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant). Her attitude is priceless. Oh Turkey!
3) Greece - "This Is Our Night"
Wow. Sakis Rouvas is a Eurovision veteran. He came third in Eurovision 2004 and he presented the tournament once too. For a man of his age, his body is just incredible, it has a life of its own. Okay, he thinks he's John Travolta, and he's very shiny, but he gave a breathtaking performance on the night. Sakis has a strong voice, he is utterly in love with himself and he wore white jeans better than anyone else in Eurovision this year. I'm definitely downloading his music for the summer (apparently he has a groovey number called 'Shake It'). He's amongst the best acts in Eurovision, although it's a bit naff that he won't give up on trying to win it. Still, I'm keeping my eye out for the Sakis Rouvas calendar. Also - Google Image searching him is v.amusing and 10 minutes well spent I say!

4) Armenia - "Nor Par Jan Jan"
I don't know how Armenia managed to find two women who are so exceptionally ugly, and at the sametime kind of alluring. They're actually stars over there, called Inga & Anush. They wore tambarines on their heads and danced around in strangely villainous dresses, like Disney witches. In fact, their entire set looked like a medieval brothel. The song Nor Par Jan Jan was weirdly powerful. I'm ashamed to say.. I loved it! It's definitely going into an iPod playlist this week.

5) Ukraine - "Be My Valentine"

Svetlana Loboda looks a lot older than a woman who was born in 1982. Also, I can't imagine her being the type to take Valentines all that seriously. The beat of her song is practically 'Everybody Dance Now', but the dancing made this song amazing... she brought along her three musclemen dancers who apparently go with her everywhere, a sort of testosterone entourgage. She's a big star in Europe too. This year she made her muscle boys dress up like Roman centurions with shoulder pads and bare chests revealing their 8 packs! Russia's camera angles on the night were a bit biased against this tune, they kept panning out and randomly sweeping across the audience, so we couldn't actually see enough of her naked muscle men, or her wonderful self. That's why I put her in my Top 5.

So, a whole year to wait now until we join Alexander Rybak in Norway. Let's hope they go for an outdoor lakeside setting, with Hollywood lights lit up across a Norwegian mountain, and plenty of trolls with multicoloured hair and gem stone belly buttons. Yay.

No comments:

Post a Comment