Top 10 Sexiest Lib Dem Parliamentary Candidates: British Election Results Night Advocaat Drinking Game

Election night is upon us! I feel completely inundated with political points, policies and promises. I feel I deserve a pat on the back for showing such an unbecoming interest in British politics over the last three weeks and I can truly say I've reached saturation point with digesting political bulls**t.
I have therefore compiled a superficial game to play whilst watching the live election results this evening: The Top 10 Sexiest Lib Dems Game! It's anybody's guess now how well the Lib Dems will do tonight, but we can at least hope for a better looking Parliament can't we? Simon Cowell said it himself in his despicable Sun sell-out "I believe Britain's Got Talent". Well let's hope some of this talent gets in... make sure to drink a double shot of Advocaat tonight each time one does!

1) Evan Harris - Oxford and Abingdon

A brilliant scientist, Evan has a long term partner, is an admirable advocate of lesbian and gay rights and has done wonders for sexual health in Britain. He's in the top spot on our Lib Dem heartthrob ladder. *













2) Jeremy Browne - Taunton Deane

Phroar - look at this blond bombshell. Mr. Browne studied politics at Nottingham University and has lived in several countries including Iran, Zimbabwe and Belgium. We want a bit more of Jez on our TVs. Good luck! P.s. He looks a bit like Jez off Peep Show doesn't he?








3) Keith Angus - Hackney North & Stoke Newington

A gay hybrid of Ant & Dec, we love 'im. Bonus points for the sexy name Keith Angus. Although sadly for us he's already in a civil partnership. He's a fan of Come Dine With Me as well, perfect.








4) Andrew Lewin - Hertford & Stortford

We love a man in a clean white open-necked shirt. Andrew is a keen cricketer and a big fan of commuting, pledging never to buy a second home in London. You can stay at mine Andrew.













5) Richard Bull - North East Derbyshire

A devout Christian and a GP, we hope Richard doesn't mind us featuring him on our list. We were as taken by the scenery as we were his looks. A nice shot of Richard out in the garden, very Austenian. Good luck tonight!








6) Kristian Chapman - Aberdeen North

He looks too young to be an MP but we're sure he'll give us his best shot. A Scotsman through and through, we're hoping Kristian will reintroduce Kilts as House of Commons daywear.










7) Stephen Gilbert - St Austell and Newquay

According to the Lib Dem's site Stephen is a bit of a gym bunny, a claim not too many Tory MPs could pull off, unless you count saunas. Stephen's also a keen fisherman, which is irressitably attractive. I'm a big seafood fan so bonus points for that.








8) Rhodri Jamieson-Ball - Islington North

Or Rhodri Weasley as I like to call him. Jamieson-Ball has done lots for Islington, campaigning against council tax one day and installing flower beds the next. Bravo hot Rhods!







9) Iarla Kilbane-Dawe - Edmonton

Another openly gay parliamentary candidate. Quite handsome for an older man don't you think? Iarla's Irish which will definitely do it for some. He lives in Camden too, how trendier can he get?










10) Chris Boyle - Houghton and Sunderland South

A winning smile lands human rights lawyer Chris neatly into 10th place.





Runners Up: Henry Vann the Bedford Lib Dem candidate almost made it into our list but we decided the hair was a bit too retro chorister-chic. We considered putting Alan Belmore in too for his efforts with the Lib Dem youth and student groups.

So! How many of these 10 will be gracing our screens over the next half decade? All will be revealed very soon. Have fun playing the Top 10 Sexiest Lib Dems game! Are there any who didn't make the list that you think should have? Have a browse on http://www.libdems.org.uk/

FINALLY, can I point out that this blog post is in jest and does not intend to undermine the political integrity and laborious campaign endeavours of those lucky enough to be featured here.
-
*In an acceptance Tweet on June 2nd 2010, Dr Harris said it was "kind" of the The Jack of Hearts to declare him sexiest of the Lib Dems' parliamentary candidates, but confirmed that this achievement did not assuage the disappointment of the election result, and if anything, perhaps re-emphasised a need for gay politicians to widen their appeal. (Source www.twitter.com/DrEvanHarris )

8 comments:

  1. Does Clegg himself not get a look-in for being substantially more attractive than Cameron or Brown?

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  2. I voted for Keith Angus today!

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  3. This will definitely brighten up the election night. Although it might conflict with the BBC's version that I printed earlier! Not sure that their list has as many hotties - Tessa Jowell looks a bit like a fembot in her pic, and even David "tasty cabinet material" Miliband looks like he's been hit with a bad case of cauliflower ear in his head shot...
    Here it is:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/8662468.stm

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  4. #1, #2 & #7 were already MPs. #2 & #7 kept their seats, but #1 lost his seat to the tories (but it was extremely close). The results still aren't in for #3, but he's unlikely to win in Hackney where that Diane Abbott off the TV is the MP. All the others lost.
    x

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  5. I'm Keith Angus's civil partner and I object to your use of the word "sadly" in relation to our happy and harmonious relationship. I also disagree strongly with his placing at number 3 in the list. On the other hand, I'm pleased that discovering your blog has kept him away from Come Dine with Me for the last 10 minutes. Thank you!

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  6. Tsk, tsk, again - another list that overlooks the handsome Tom Brake!

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  7. "Henry Vann the Bedford Lib Dem candidate almost made it into our list but we decided the hair was a bit too retro chorister-chic."

    FYI Jack - did you know I went to prep school with him? He was actually a choirister at King's Cambridge
    http://youtu.be/OuE9kYxw6c4
    see @0:56 into the video... aged about 11-12.
    Also, @0:40 in, 3rd boy from left (with big glasses) is Ellie Goulding's keyboard/synth player. Fact.

    A xxx

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  8. @ELLI :Clegg was too obvious so didn't get a look in, plus party leaders are doomed with P.L.E.A.S.E (Party Leader Excessive Ageing Syndrome Effect) so no point.

    @ANONYMOUS claiming to be the boyfriend of Keith Angus: Your married life together sounds lovely, now wash the pots.

    @NILES : Tom Brake's Cowell-esque approach to beauty was a critical factor in his not featuring here.

    @PAVLOVA : That's amazing! You see how accurate my judge of character is, from a few strands of hair I just KNEW Henry Vann used to be a chorister. Does recession-star Ellie Goulding have a synth player? She'll never be Kate Bush, she should give up now and get a real job.

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