Summer Arrivals: Top 5 Holiday Buys

Some cool new stuff I've bought in preparation for my pending roadtrip. Now all I need are important things like underwear, sun lotion and swimwear. Did you know that you can't wear swimshorts in French swimming pools? And you thought on burkas was the most daring chapter in their sartorial law. Nay, you have to wear tight-ass swim skimps in French pools, apparently to defer dirty randomers from going for a swim on a whim in their daywear, but we all know really it's because the French love a big penis and strive long and hard to have any building, meal or president that looks like one. So, here are my Top 5 Holiday Buys:

1) Vampire Teeth Tee

Fits perfectly, has a brilliant design, fucking cheap. Plus nobody cool shops in New Look so you're not going to see anyone else wearing it. I only went in there originally because there's a Starbucks on the top floor. A real steal.

2) Silver Rucksack with built-in speakers

Chavs eat your empty crisp-packet hearts out. This rucksack is designed for small girls but also appeals to part-time party monsters. Just look at it! There's nothing more inconsiderate or horrid than a person playing their own music in public without communal consent, especially on a beach. Still, it's more of an image thing. The first thing my friend said when they saw this was - THAT IS SO JACK!

3) Washed Out - Life of Leisure

Now a roadtrip needs lots of music, indeed, something old, something new, something borrowed and nothing by Blue. This new chill out electro album by Washed Out will be a blissful hangover classic, take a listen yourself on his MySpace. With its slow loops, laidback melodies and live percussion samples, beautiful.

4) Palace Walk - Naguib Mahfouz
I'm taking quite a few racy out-of-print reads on holiday, found in the dark corners of the second hand section in Marchmant Street's bookshop Gay's The Word. Still, it's always nice to have something sophisticated and meticulously written too, so Mahfouz's Nobel Prize winning novel Palace Walk will do just fine.

£6.99 From Amazon

5) DKNY - Pure

Summer scents are essential and I just love those crossover discoveries when you discover a scent designed for the opposite sex that works really well for you. DKNY Pure is just what I need in a roadtrip beach scent. Nothing too invasive, clean and gentle but seductive nevertheless.


  1. Are you getting paid to ADVERTISE these things?!!!

  2. Haha, yeah - Naguib was like "You know what Jack, I really want to cut a younger readership with my Nobel Prize winning novel, how about you plug a 4 quid Amazon copy on your blog for me"

  3. 4 quid? It's 6 POUNDS NINETY NINE!