When Mean Girls first slapped our screens back in 2004 it was HUGE. Girls were hiking to the cinema for repeat viewings, their boyfriends secretly hoping they’d be dragged along too. When the DVD came out it instantly replaced Zoolander and Save The Last Dance in all the girls common rooms at school. And we all caught the Quote Mean Girls virus, dishing out our favourite one-liners: “My nail beds suck!” – “Once Regina George punched me in the face… it was aw’thom” – “I wish we could bake a cake out of rainbows and smiles” – “That is SO fetch!” Some critics were sceptical about the comparisons to teen classics like Heathers and Clueless. Surely Mean Girls wasn’t that good? But it was. Mean Girls was mwah-assive. But how did these young actors fair in the years that followed? Did Rachel McAdams emerge as a bigger actress than Lindsay Lohan, or was it Amanda Seyfried who won the long race? Who’d have thought that Aaron Samuels was gayer than Damian in real life, and what about Gretchen Weiners played by Lacey Chabert? Lacey who? Here’s what the mean girls did next...
Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan)
Lindsay was already a big name when Mean Girls came out, thanks to child stardom and lead roles in The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday. Sadly her personal life took the driving seat after Mean Girls, racking up prison sentences for drug use and drink driving. A spree of mad business ideas followed like her own range of fake tan, arguments with Barack Obama’s electioneering team, attempts at a pop career and a highly publicised shift in her sexuality. Then Miley Cyrus emerged and completely seized the girl idol throne where Lindsay once sat. Stumped out and ruined, Lindsay turned to fashion and paparazzi for funding. Currently she is filming Inferno, depicting the life of porn actress Linda Lovelace who starred in the cult adult film Deep Throat. Despite Lindsay’s rocky past, I think she will pull herself together and become a respected woman again , a la Drew Barrymore or Demi Moore. Assuming the press and the police leave her alone for more than five minutes.
Nobody had heard of Rachel McAdams until Regina George first strutted into that canteen with her plastic tray and invited innocent Cady to sit with her. Luckily playing an uber meow-factor bitch didn’t typecast Rachel and she secured herself a variety of strong roles, including Allie in The Notebook, Lisa in Red Eye and Irene in Sherlock Holmes. Rachel is a good actress and there’s no reason why she shouldn’t go from strength to strength. Already a regular pin on the red carpet, she’ll be a pillar of Hollywood within a few years. “Vintage!”
Karen was my favourite of the plastics with her backwards ‘K’ spelt out in sequins across her cleavage and her wonderfully vacant remarks. Little did we know what lay in store for the young Amanda Seyfried. Not a month goes past without panda Amanda’s big eyes staring at us from the poster of a new movie, or gaping out from the cover of a magazine, it seems she’s starring in about 14 things at any one time. Mamma Mia is the high point for her so far though. IMDB need to buy a new warehouse to store her filmography, there’s no stopping this one, she’s a workaholic. I smell a Hollywood wedding down the line, but will it be Dominic Cooper? I wouldn’t want his mate James Corden at my wedding that’s for sure. “I’m a mouse – DUH!”
Gretchen Weiners (Lacey Chabert)
Gretchen was a brilliant character with her encyclopaedic insecurities, epitomised by the platinum hoop earrings from her parents that she had to pretend she *sob sniff* didn’t like. Actress Lacey Chabert was dealt the worst hand out of the Mean Girls crowd, failing to bag any big parts since then and turning her efforts to voice work, providing the voices for a Bratz doll and also the character Meg in Family Guy. She’s so not fetching any roles.
Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan)
Accused of having a "big lesbian crush" on Regina, and of being a drugs user in Mean Girls, it’s like Lindsay Lohan has been living out the fictional life of Janis Ian ever since. Lizzy Caplan who played gothic plastic-hater Janis is actually very beautiful beneath that tar-thick mascara. She starred in the handheld horror film Cloverfield, she played Amy in True Blood, and starred in The Class. Lizzy is less career-driven than the other folks from Mean Girls. She lives happily in Hollywood with her flatmate and her cat Lisa. I feel that.
Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey)
We were mere teenagers when Mean Girls came out and so paid little attention to the school teacher Ms. Norbury, although I did like her line “The highlight of my summer was having the police search my flat for crack” Tina Fey who played Ms. Norbury also wrote Mean Girls, and went on to write, direct and star in my favourite sitcom 30 Rock. Team Tina!
Aaron Samuels (Jonathan Bennett)
Aaron Samuels was the Abercrombie & Fitch esque hunk that Regina and Cady fought over. Although Aaron shows a passionate liking for both girls in the movie, in real life actor Jonathan Bennett prefers a bit of jingle bell cock, or is at least “heavily rumoured to be gay”, because in Hollywood nobody is gay remember. Acting-wise he’s not done much since Mean Girls, maybe because he’s been enjoying himself. He did appear in a bondage-themed art project by photographer David LaChapelle though. Anyone else want to multiply him by the power of X?
Damian (Daniel Franzese)
Damian, the big gay reject who was “too gay to function” had enjoyed cult success in a few projects before Mean Girls, including a walk-on part as the nightclub host in Party Monster – “Ladies and Gentlemen, theeeee CLUB KIDSSS!”. Since Mean Girls Damian has focused his efforts on his passion for art, exhibiting work a few times in Los Angeles. You see, he does belong on the art freaks table at lunch.
So there we have it. A little Jack of Hearts homage to Mean Girls. I’d like it if Tina Fey wrote a sequel when Regina, Karen, Gretchen and Cady are all in their 40s. But then again she gave Mean Girls a happy ending where they all learn not to be mean anymore and Aaron Samuels moves out of town to presumably come out.
Originally published 4th August 2010
Find Jack on Twitter @jackcullenuk