Why Are Simon Cowell's Pop Tarts Above the Charts?

So this year’s X Factor live show performances will be purchasable through iTunes and other official websites, but sales will not affect the Official Top 40 charts, putting Simon Cowell in an omnipotent throne above the charts.

If 500,000 people like and buy a song then it should be number one, that’s what a chart is! Why is Simon Cowell scared of transparency and online democratisation? It’s supposed to be a harmless music competition, albeit a money-grabbing one, not some Kim Jong-il Karaoke freak show.

Some have praised Cowell for ‘protecting the integrity of the charts’ as if this man’s first taste of chart success wasn’t with novelty singles as profound as The TeleTubbies (‘Eh Oh’) and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers! As if this man doesn't look to 80s sensation Sinitta for her earnest opinion on singing.

The officially provided reason for this above-the-charts malarkey is that the show’s makers want to prevent audiences from knowing who the tournament’s favourites are. This too is slightly flawed in that iTunes already has its own popularity tally system and the size of Facebook fan pages has always correlated with a contestant’s popularity.

Now that X Factor can make money out of its 'live' performances it completely changes the nature of the tournament in that contestants are going to be given songs with maximum money-making potential. If 500,000 girls and gays are going to buy a 1 Direction single each week for the next 10 weeks then there’s no way Simon Cowell is going to chuck the boys out of the tournament no matter how badly they might screw-up.

Will the contestants be rewarded for lining Cowell's pockets each week or do they remain unpaid popstars? Perhaps the proceeds from all of these Saturday night whore-outs should go to charity? And how much money does the original artist get paid? Can Kate Bush sue if she feels her creative genius has been sieged, shat on and spewed out by a talentless teenager?

I like The X Factor, it’s hilarious and I enjoy watching it, but for me it is basic wine and crisps pre-clubbing Saturday night entertainment, not a conglomerate Orwellian Ministry of Music that rams a spoon down your throat and then smacks you in the face with it. Luckily we still live in a world where televisions can be turned off. Sadly half of Britain don’t seem to realise this.

Wow, we’ve only had one live show and already the Jack of Hearts has had an X Factor rant! And last night in Tescos I noticed a stand selling X magazine, so expect another…

1 comment:

  1. I'm beginning to loose interest with the likes of Katie 'ohh ohh can I start again' Waissel. It does seem like one big fix now, even if before I could pretend it wasn't! xx

    and yes, the blog has taken a few weeks sabbatical - i can't find inspiration from law books, netball and antibiotics! x