I noticed a nice guest appearance from Fernando Torres' willy today on the back of the Metro newspaper. I'm assuming it's a flacid penis and not a hand? Experience tells me those silky shorts don't have pockets because I remember stuffing condoms into my socks at a football-themed sex party in Italy once.
Torres is an odd one in the hot footballer charts. He's clearly a piece of twinky football man candy, yet he hasn't sought recognition from the fashion industry particularly, courted the paparazzi or acquired a gay fanbase in the way that David Beckham and Christiano Ronaldo have. I think Torres is just one of those hot footballers that straight men have a soft spot for, they don't fancy him or anything gay like that, but if they were cell mates and times got tough then, you know, the goal posts might be widened a little and Fernando's rosy face would get to know the pillow quite well whilst his oily tax-fraud dorm pal clutches onto those long blond locks.
Presumably he dyes his hair blond, because he's supposed to be a Spaniard right?
Other stories in today's Metro included:
- A publicity stunt conducted by Monster Slippers
- A girl was crushed to death in a Northampton nightclub (an unlikely place for such an occurence - I wouldn't have thought more than six people go out on a Wednesday night in Northampton?)
- Westlife are breaking up (this better not mean the gay one is going to inflict us all with a solo career attempt)
- There's something on television later