I was disappointed with Episode 1 of this year's The Apprentice. Twelve candidates (who all look like Mattel dolls of former Apprentice candidates) participated in a hazy task that we'd all seen before, a faceless woman was fired, and the winning team were treated to... hold your breath... DRINKS AND NIBBLES back in the luxury setting of their BBC digs. There weren't many laugh-out-loud vox pops, Karen Brady seems to be running on low-battery mode and blah blah blah,
The point is, The Apprentice doesn't get good until you're a few weeks in.
In the meantime, here are some lookalikes for 5 of this year's candidates:
32-year-old former bread-stacker Adam Corbally looks a bit like fictional butcher's son Ashley off Coronation Street, particularly when you study his mannerisms. The reason I know this is because my Mum used to cook dinner in time for Coronation Street and then we'd have to sit in silence whilst she watched it. I've made a conscious effort in my own adult life to overrule history, and so when watching The Apprentice and I like to fill my house with noisy gays, distant fan-ovens and far too much white wine.
Editorial Research Director (what is that? who has those?) Katie Wright looks quite a lot like the model Jodie Kidd, or is it Jemma Kidd? Or Jemima Kidd? There are two of them, one used to be a model and now writes about beauty, the other one still is a model and also probably writes about beauty, I think? I've not researched this very well. I just remember [Jodie/Jemima] Kidd's face popping up in my Grandma's Daily Mail and then watching The Apprentice last night and thinking (after a few Chenin Blancs) - "Doesn't she look like her off the Daily Mail?" The photo I chose above isn't very good either, so you'll just have to trust me or his Google Images yourself.
Hero of last night's show Duane Bryan looks a bit like Simon Webbe, member of the boyband Blue and cousin to former Sugababe Keisha Buchanan. Let's hope Duane takes a leaf out of Simon's wardrobe (literally) and appears next Wednesday smothered in Clover and sporting a decorative rope coil and numerous tattooes.
Apprentice pretty-boy Nick Holzherr who started life selling golf balls that he found in hedges or something looks quite a lot like gay porn entrepreneur, adult model, online brand, former murder suspect, power bottom and professional toy boy Brent Corrigan. You never know, perhaps if the boys win next week Nick will hoist himself up onto the breakfast bar and take a few for the team... Whilst you're waiting for that to happen though, why not read Brent Corrigan's intriguing Wikipedia page.
See the other candidates on this year's Apprentice here
As far as I can tell none of the candidates are gay on this year's Apprentice? Or am I wrong? Pray do tell.